Choose to live!

I have been “overweight” since my teenage years, the trauma had me pad my body for protection at that time, but I didn’t realize that’s what I was doing. I nosedived into obesity in my first pregnancy at 21 years old. I gained and kept that extra 80 pounds, until my second pregnancy in 2013, and gained another 60 pounds. I kept that too.

Fast forward to June of 2019, I was so sick. I was scared. I tested positive for Mono and true to Mono—I was tired all of the time, but it didn’t last weeks, it went on for months. Full disclosure: I was smoking half a pack of Marlboro light menthols a day and eating anything I wanted, whenever I wanted. There were no rules for what I fed myself or when. I didn’t notice until I was barely surviving my own life—barely taking care of my house, kids, and work. I was getting things done, but it was difficult. Nothing was ever left over to take care of me.

Then, in March of 2020, my I sent my children to my Mom (due to the pandemic) and I still had to go to work. I’m a nurse and things were scary and we felt that was the best decision to have them isolated with my Mom, who could work from home. Then in April 2020, I felt like my body was dying and started planning my funeral and discussing life insurance policies with my husband while crying every night at 38 years old. I prayed I could at least see my children again. I thought maybe COVID-19 was the problem. I was keeping pneumonia after several rounds of antibiotics but always tested negative for COVID. I did try to find out what was wrong and spent thousands of dollars going to my doctor and several specialists—who scanned my body and drew blood until the only thing they could tell me was that I had Mono—again. No other diagnoses, except I needed to quit smoking and I needed to lose weight. No further help or advice from anyone on my care team.

I spent the next 4 weeks on my couch. I could barely wash a sink full of dishes. Well, I couldn’t finish the sink of dishes, I had to sit and take a break because my heart would race and I’d have to hold myself up on the counter to do anything at all. I felt like I was dying. If I hadn’t found Dr. Berg and Dr. Fung on YouTube, I strongly believe I would’ve died. These two amazing doctors saved my life and they had never even met me. While I was on my couch, unable to work, desperate, and depressed, I researched almost everything I possibly could about keto, IF, and EWF. I hoped that if I made dramatic lifestyle changes that it would give me the best possible chance to see my babies again. I did a 3-day water fast that week and quit smoking cold turkey.

I’ve watched (almost) every video Dr. Berg has made, I know that’s a lot! I bought his supplements, watched Dr. Fung's videos, and bought and read his books about Fasting. Fasting was foreign and scary to me. I grew up in a house where you ate three square meals a day and snacks between. My Mama, always meaning well, has tried to feed me every 3 hours while awake since I was born prematurely. She was a teenage mom and always worried about taking the best care of me and eating was the answer and all I understood. Every emotion, feeling, thought, and action had food surrounding it. This carried into my adulthood and that’s the only way I knew to comfort myself.

I had no idea how to take care of my body. It’s not my Moms fault, she didn’t know. My grandmother didn’t know. I didn’t know, some families don't know that our body needs a break from the constant fuel. Sometimes we need time to heal and my body was screaming for a break. It wanted time to heal. It wanted to live. I remember telling myself after digesting all of the new knowledge I’d acquired, “Choose to live or choose to die, but you’re going to have to do something extreme to get yourself out of this.” I felt so stuck, so sick and so hopeless. I did a 3-day water fast that week and quit smoking cold turkey.

It was time to pull myself back up into the land of the living. I chose myself, my life. I chose to live it. I have released 101 pounds and I plan to fast and stay keto or low carb to keep my life. Anyone can do this. You just have to have the opportunity to learn how to and to choose you every day.